Y'all know I've been splitting my time between Witchcraft Branding and my passion project, RAW Storytelling. Well, more than splitting. RAW has taken over my life - in a good way. What started out as an innocent monthly true storytelling event is now turning 1-year-old, launching a podcast, offering storytelling workshops, and - spoiler alert - starting to plan shows on the road.
I've witnessed a ton of successful moments through RAW and somehow it registers like it's happening to another person. Someone that is not me. What is this weird disassociating feeling? I have no idea, but I do know it's a feeling I frequently get asked about by fellow entrepreneurs. It seems I'm really not alone. We all have a little bit of chronic "Process Nerdism." That's a scientific term, of course.
See, I often describe myself as a process nerd [a term I admittedly stole from comedian and host, Chris Hardwick]. I thoroughly enjoy the process of making things happen until "the thing" happens. Then it's on to the next thing. Done, bored, next. And what is the #1 symptom of this condition?
✔️Feeling depressed after a big accomplishment.
A few months ago, I commented on a friend's Facebook post that I always go from an absolute high on the night of a RAW Storytelling show to an absolute low that lasts, at least, 24 hours after the show ends. I thought it was me and my crazy brain. But as friends who are also growing their ideas into brands started to ask me to describe more in detail what I felt, I realized there's a whole bunch of us out there feeling The RAW Blues.
So I'm pasting below a Facebook message I sent out to a friend who wanted to know more about these RAW Blues. My thought process is there's many more of us out there feeling this way and if I can convince you that you're not alone - that will make my day. Ok, here goes:
After each RAW show ends, people I both know and don't know come up to me to say how amazing RAW is. How it's incredible what I've put together. Blah, blah, blah. More stuff like that. You get the idea. Then everyone leaves and I help the venue staff clean up the space. Then I get in my car, alone, and drive, alone, 15 minutes to my apartment. That is the saddest car ride ever. To go from the high of feeling like you accomplished something to being completely alone doing mundane stuff like driving, getting home, feeding and walking the dogs, putting all your stuff from the day away, taking a shower, and insert anything else that needs to be done like dishes, cleaning dog pee, etc. For me, it's the contrast of being praised for something I did [which I'm not used to] and then having to go back home and do everyday stuff alone. Makes me feel like a fraud. Like RAW never happened that night. Especially the next day when I wake up to go to work and it really is like RAW never happened. Like it didn't even matter.
I think this has to do with an abnormal amount of praise and admiration followed by a swift return to daily life. I compare it, in a very humble way, to how I imagine rockstars feels after filling a stadium and then going to an empty hotel. There's a big feeling of being aloneness and silence with your own thoughts - and doubts that eat at you.
Also, you build up these moments in your head. And when you're in the moment you're not being present [or at least I am not] so when it's over it never feels like what you had built it up to be. I'm working on that, on being more present.
What are your thoughts? I would love to hear if you've felt The RAW Blues or maybe, just maybe, you know the cure.
P.S. There's a ton of new stuff happening on the Witchcraft front. I'll be a panelist at the Women Empower Expo on November 10th in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I launched a new 3-week brand coaching program called Craft Your Brand. And remember to sign up for my Brand Storytelling Workshops!